Dear Taylor,
I have decided to write this letter to you because I feel that you are one of my closest friends now. I am not a person of many written words, but I recognize you may feel no closer to me than to any other student in our class, but you have made this class come alive for me.
Taylor, I have never met anybody quite like you. I, as everybody else, have experienced frustration, screaming fits, and even despair over this class. I think one of my lowest points in my year as far as hope for my future as a student was the handout we received on the statistics of numbers of students who drop out of PSU, especially those who cite FRINQ as a major cause. Forbidden Knowledge also caused my lowest point in my personal life. I have clinical depression and have ADD, with PMDD as a side flavoring. I worry that people may think that they need to tiptoe around me because of that, and, obviously, to some extent they are right. But this was never brought home to me with more conviction than when I read Ishmael’s interpretation of the purpose of human life in our civilization. He stated that it was to destroy this planet.
Now, out of context that sounds even silly. But I found it powerful enough to throw me into a deep, nearly suicidal depression.
Taylor, I am not sure you can understand this, you who are so full and vibrant with color and life. I feel that no one can understand not actually being able to see sunshine, but to some extent, I feel now that there are people who are trying to show all sides of our experiences. I am truly amazed by the projects that we have seen, with Red 76, and Adbusters, among the others. I wish that I could get out and do those things, even if I do not feel brave enough.
To tell the truth Taylor, much of what has been positive in our class has been consistently you. What I have learned, what you have taught, but more, shown me, about body image really has changed my view. I have never been introduced to the feminist side of view with passion, caring and understanding. I feel more fully prepared when I meet my fiancé head on in debate (he is a very odd Republican, and cannot fully answer some of my questions now). The great thing is that I now cannot decide between a Women’s Studies or a Sociology Major.
I hear thanks for speaking up in class sometimes, but I find that silly, a bit. My purpose is never (really) to show off my knowledge, it is to make all the people look at me cross-eyed all together, but all for different reasons. Why else would I ask questions upon which my opinion has already been fully formed (Is there hope for Gorilla)?
You know what the most positive effect this class has had on me is? When I was in the seventh grade, I was given a writing disability. But because I went to a private school fairly quickly after that, I never finished testing for it. All through high school, I was able to utilize that as an excuse to my teachers and myself, but starting here, you can imagine how quickly I was directed to the Disability Resource Center. As I was gathering my older papers to present to them, I found out why I was given a learning disability. It was applied to me because of a difference of at least three grade levels in reading and writing. Not because I couldn’t do it! This may sound odd but look at it this way. I had always thought that I could not write, I could not learn to write, and there was no hope for it. As I came to understand though these papers, I was tested in the fifth grade. During these tests, I was placed at about a fourth grade writing level, and a freshman college student reading level. My writing problem was that my thoughts were too big for my syntax.
What does this mean to our FRINQ? Sarah’s…non-judgmental style and your…creative jo0urnals allowed me to explore in ways I actually had not thought myself capable of. I think that will be my long lasting legacy of Freshman Inquiry,
Beyond that, I only have one request. Taylor, promise me you will never change.
Melody Tremain